Grieving a Pet: How Journaling Helps You Heal and Cherish Memories

Recently, I lost my best friend—my sweet old Lab. She was 16, and though I knew our time together was limited, her old age seemed to come on so suddenly. One moment, she was running and jumping like she always had, and the next, she was struggling to get up, spending most of her days sleeping. We traveled the country together, and even beyond. We hiked the mountains of Acadia National Park, camped in the borderlands of southern Arizona, slept on the beaches of Texas, and relaxed by the ocean in San Diego. She lived a full, adventurous life, always by my side. Losing her has been incredibly difficult, and honestly, it still is. But writing has helped. It’s given me a way to hold onto the moments we shared, to relive them, and to keep her memory close.

If you’re grieving the loss of a pet, I hope journaling can offer you the same comfort it’s given me.

Journaling gives you a safe space to process your emotions, hold onto memories, and slowly move through the pain at your own pace. In fact, research supports the idea that writing can help people work through grief in meaningful ways.

1. Write About the Love You Shared

Start by writing down the little things—your pet’s quirks, their favorite toy, the way they looked at you when they wanted a treat. These are the moments that made them special. Grief can feel like a blur, and journaling helps preserve those memories, keeping them alive in your heart.

A study published in the Journal of Palliative Care suggests that structured writing programs can be a valuable tool for bereaved individuals, helping them make sense of their emotions and find coherence in their grief. Participating in personal journaling or writing groups was shown to support the healing process. Read more

2. Let Yourself Feel Everything

Some days will be filled with love and gratitude; others will be heavy with sadness. Your journal is a judgment-free zone where you can be honest about how you’re feeling. Write a letter to your pet, let yourself cry through the pages, or scribble down the anger and frustration that grief sometimes brings. It all belongs in your journal.

Research on guided writing suggests that focusing on meaning reconstruction—rather than just expressing emotions—can be more beneficial in reducing prolonged grief and even symptoms of depression. Learn more

3. Create a Gratitude List

Even in grief, gratitude can be a powerful tool. Try listing out the things you’re grateful for—how your pet changed your life, the lessons they taught you, the happiness they brought. It doesn’t erase the pain, but it can shift your focus toward love instead of loss.

4. Document Signs and Dreams

Many people find comfort in noticing little signs that remind them of their pet—seeing their favorite bird in the yard, hearing their name unexpectedly, or even dreaming about them. Writing these down can make you feel more connected to them, even after they’re gone.

Autoethnography, a self-reflective form of writing that connects personal experiences to a broader cultural understanding, has been shown to help individuals process grief in a deeper way. It allows for personal insight and a sense of connection beyond just memories. Explore this study

5. Write About the Healing Process

Healing isn’t linear. Some days you might feel okay, and others might feel impossible. Keep track of your journey in your journal. Look back and see how far you’ve come. Slowly, you’ll notice the pain softening, making more room for love and happy memories.

Journaling has even been shown to reduce stress following traumatic events. Writing about grief can help you process emotions and create a sense of calm, as discussed in Brain and Life Magazine. Read more here

6. Make a Tribute Page

Dedicate a page (or several) to your pet. Write their name in big letters. Add their paw print if you have one. Tape in a favorite photo or draw something that reminds you of them. This can be a special space to return to whenever you need to feel close to them.

7. Talk About Moving Forward

Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting. It means carrying their love with you in a new way. Maybe one day you’ll open your heart to another pet, or maybe you’ll honor them by helping other animals. Write about what this might look like for you, and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace.

Your Pet’s Love Stays With You

Journaling won’t take away the pain, but it can give you a space to hold onto the love. Your pet’s story isn’t over—it continues in the memories you write, the lessons they taught you, and the love you carry forward.

If you’re grieving, be kind to yourself. Give yourself time. And when the words feel like too much, just start with one: Love.

If you’d like more tips on how journaling can help with emotional processing, check out our post on journaling for mental health.